So, I stumbled on this piece while going through old emails. I remember writing this for my friend, Chiamaka’s blog. I was probably in Ss1 or Ss2 ( 10th / 11th grade). It’s a real classic from TSW Archives. I made some edits but nothing major. It was called, ‘Five Genuine Reasons Your (Teen) Fling Isn’t Love’, I guess I was an angry little girl or maybe I had great insight.
Few days ago, I was revising physics when I stumbled upon something. It really made me counter love and teenage flings, in general. Flings in this context do not mean anything in The Oxford Dictionary. I mean casual, deep maybe, teen relationships. Teen ‘love’ is just cliché. Think about it, two teens fall in something, call it love, fall out of it, call it a break up then either pretend to be okay when its really awkward or do it the boss way – severe all ties! Lol
I’m not even going to be cynical or feminist. I’m not a woman activist! All I want to show you is Five Genuine Reasons Why Your Teen Fling Isn’t Love. That’s all !
1. Love isn’t about Two People
The love that Bella Swan & Edward Cullen had, Rachael & Mike Ross have, Olivia & Jake will have.. Its not just about them. For Beldward, its about thousands of vampires and humans who will conjugate after them, Millions of lawsuits that Ross & Rachael will fight off, America that Olivia Pope is fixing! With the teen fling, its always about you and your’s at the detriment of other people who actually mean much to you or need you. Ever decided to celebrate you and your teen hunk’s day at an orphanage or you both simply telling or showing someone else you really love them? I thought so too.
2. Love isn’t Painful
I laugh when I hear people say you have to cry when you’re in love. Listen up people, love is supposed to be amazing. It shouldn’t make you feel crappy, worthless or unwanted. Love isn’t all flowers and fairytales but it’s so much deeper than crying, feeling guilty and sad. It’s ultimately twice as deep as you’re thinking right now.
3. Love Isn’t Beneath The Surface, only.
I love my theories cause they aren’t proved by anyone and its still the real deal. Have you ever seen people in love? It’s like Disney world. They’re smiling, cheerful, joyful and what-not! They’re excessively beaming and its like ‘Oh, I’m happy cause I’m in love’.
PS – Seventeen year old me slightly disagrees with the above. It’s not always like Disney World but definitely, chocolate after a hard day. It’s the ability to come up after going through so much that’s just breath-taking. You would cry, sometimes but yours would cry with you or wipe your tears or just be there for you.
One noticeable thing about love is it doesn’t hide itself. You would want to show your’s to the world! While teenage flings affect ONLY deep inside of you, you react to true love on the surface too.
4.Love Is Making Sacrifices and Compromise
Previously, it was called Love Isn’t Entirely Making Sacrifices, now I feel like love is about making all the sacrifices and compromise too. In a typical teenage affair, its common place to sacrifice one thing or the other for yours. Though, sacrifices exist in the real thing, they do not always hold ground. Sacrifice is not the only basis for love, adjustment is, compromise is. Love doesn’t entirely mean sacrifices, its more like making it work even if sacrifices won’t be made. It’s an ‘it takes two to tango’ thing.
5. Love isn’t a Projectile Motion
For non-physics students, a projectile motion is that with which an object travels through air with no motive power of its own but with gravity and air resistance alone. Love isn’t that. Teen flings are just that. Think about it. Teen flings are bounded by rules, regulations, codes, laws all set up by your friends, parents, society, expectations, people around you, you and the object of your teenage desire. Its the same in every variation. Your ‘rule setters’ are just like gravity and air resistance. But love, the real deal, it has its own controls, it holds its own reins, powers its own battle ship. It doesn’t depend on any idea or thing. It differs. That’s true love, people!
It’s a lot to process, I know right. I was hardly fourteen when I wrote this. It’s funny how I now disagree with some of the things I felt so strongly about. That’s what growth does. I’ve definitely evolved since then, far more than you can imagine. It’s not my intention to belittle anyone or their relationship. It would be hypocritical to do that as I believe in love, whenever, however, teenage, or not. I’m just a seventeen year female writer putting up a three year old article.