Naija Detectives

NAIJA DETECTIVES – Episode Four, Part B

The chief stands up in protest.

‘You can not just come and search my shop like that! Biko, this is violation. Laptop, kwa? You want to spoil business for me! What is this nonsense?’

‘We just want to have a little look around and we would be out of your hair in no time’, Fiona explains gently.

I mentally roll my eyes. Fiona is being too nice, legit. We have a warrant, I don’t think we need his permission, honestly. But I’m just the rookie so I take the back seat here and watch it all unfold.

‘Oya, take phone!’, the man gives his phone to Fiona to speak to someone at the other end of the line. 

Fiona sighs but takes it anyway.

‘We have a warrant. With all due respect, it is within our power and in fact duty to do so…. What do you mean?’.

—————–

Fiona

It’s so absolutely annoying! I don’t understand these people or this country. So bloody confusing, to be honest. I’m weak. Before we were able to search the store, bloody problem. After searching, no relevant information or leads! 

And the man had the damn audacity to actually report us, especially ‘the girl with the dada hair’ being me, for our brash conduct. What the hell! I was so nice and super agreeable.

JK literally bashed me. The irony. I want him to hold me in his arms, not scold me like a baby. 

I chuckle.

Talking about arms, he certainly looked as fine as hell today. And his toned arms, in that sleeveless jumper made my day!

Fiona, stop acting like a school girl with a crush!

Hold that thought. 

But damn crushes.

Someone clears their throat behind me.

It’s Remi. Uggh. 

‘Mama Fiona, who is the unfortunate person you are crushing on o? Let me tell them sorry’, he bursts into laughter.

I mentally face-palm, I had no idea I was thinking aloud.

‘Remi, are you really messing with innocent, seer me this sweet afternoon?’, I smile sweetly, subtly threatening.

‘Don’t do what you’re thinking. Don’t even try it!’. 

‘Good boy, now bye!’, I blow him a kiss. 

You, watching it all unfold burst into laughter, much to Remi’s chagrin.

Rookie, he barked.

————-
The internet is still bustling with tweets, posts and more, #BringBackOurGirlsPartTwo’s campaign is never ending, at more than two thousand tweets per minute. Many organisations have pledged support for Nigeria in cracking this, also the international community continues to support the cause as more and more influencers show their support. 
—————
Oba
I’m so uncomfortable with this #BringBackOurGirlsPartTwo saga and us, not being on this case. It has become such a national issue, I would rather be doing that than Laptop gate. 

I type the hashtag into my search engine. Oh wow! This is officially an international crisis, I mutter. 

—————
 You

Fiona stops me as I walk into the office. ‘So how did you do?’, she asks. ‘How did I do what?’, I ask her in turn. ‘ Don’t play stupid, silly. You know what I mean, your progress assessment’. 

‘Oh that’, I scratch my head, finally understanding. Lord knows how she knows these things.

‘I got my e-mail this morning and I actually have been doing not bad. I’ve made really good progress on most of my categories except self defence’. ‘Martial arts?’, she asks. ‘Martial arts, to be exact. You guessed right’.

And my first sole assignment is coming up. I explain all this to Fiona. She is definitely much more excited about it than I am. Typical Fiona! 

‘About martial arts, the instructors are pigs so its always hard at first. Don’t beat yourself up. My first sole assignment was a bomb though. It was so awesome. I got to go undercover in a drugs mission, find out where the drugs were coming from and going to. Basically an information mole for them to bust the whole operation. Do you want me to read JK or Gregory to find out your sole assignment?’

‘Yes, yes, please’, I plead.

‘Dreams haha’.

—————–
Oba

So they are protesting about this in the capital already. I scroll down my Twitter feeds. But no, Laptop flipping gate is our problem. And we wonder how Trump became president? I tried to talk to Gregory to at least give us, me an angle to this. He didn’t listen. Told me we weren’t done fixing Laptop gate so I should ‘deal with that’. 

Fiona knocks.

‘Check Channel 55, I think we may have a lead on Laptop Gate’. 

————–

Fiona

And I knocked the smug face off his stupid face. It’s funny how the last time we were here, he didn’t want to shut up but now, he’s as meek as a mouse. Ha ha. Telling me how sorry he was and uncooperative, because he knows very well that an action would be brought and he could be an added party. I’m sure you’re wondering how we got here. A certain part of the country has been trying to secede for a while and has been causing trouble. Apparently, one thing led to another and led to Laptop Gate because a ‘fighter’ decided to take it upon himself to our explosive devices in the laptops to show them ‘how serious we are’. I would say the heart of man is desperately wicked but that should be Rookie’s choice of words because I’ve seen worse. Way worse.

‘See you in court, Chief’.

————

The whole nation is still shocked from the recent kidnapping scandal of three daughters of prominent business men in the country. Aimed to become another Bring Back Our Girls Saga, everyone flew into action, with the international community tailing behind. However, more scandalous was the news that it was all a joke. Apparently, the three daughters of the leading business men were just joking and didn’t think it would escalate quickly. In an apology letter issued openly to the whole nation. They admitted being ‘careless, callous, irresponsible, childish and didn’t stop to think once of what outcome their actions might bring’. There have been no further comments.

My name is Kolade Johnson. Reporting, Ocean Tv.

(Lol. I was in a super hurry to be done with this episode so its not the best. It was dragging on for so long and I just had to just deal with it! We are officially two episodes away from the end of Naija Detectives Season One. It’s a bitter-sweet thing for me tbh. I can’t wait to start Season Two and bring new characters, more crime and more and more action)

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Naija Detectives

NAIJA DETECTIVES –¬†Episode Four, Part A

You 

It’s 4am in the morning, we’ve just been called into work. As I enter the office, I see that Remi, Oba and Fiona are seated already.

Jk begins, ‘I want to commend your efforts in the Batuwa-Damochie case. I am highly impressed’.

‘Thanks boss’, Fiona answered happily.

———-

‘Hi, I just called to request a cab’, she spoke into her phone.

‘Um, um. Just at Mokola, Waterfall estates, just say you’re going to Akintola’s House. It’s a green building, yes. Please call me as soon as you get here’.

She applies her Mac lipstick, red as her nails. Fully dressed in designer, Hauwa is ready to party and turn up all night. What more did she want? A bank account filled with cash, a wardrobe full of this season’s clothes and parents who would do anything, anything for her.

Bisi, her friend walks in, wearing a custom Balmain frock. 

‘Olivier literally wows me everytime’, Hauwa comments.

‘I absolutely agree. I saw this in one of his 2016 Collections, the one he had Maria Borges and Christian Ronaldo in and I couldn’t get over it’.

‘True, major couture envy’.

Their friend, Michella is on the bed, skyping with her parents.

‘Yes mum, I swear, I will call you once we get there. No, dad, you don’t have to send Sule to drive us. We are getting a cab and he’s almost here. We’ll be fine, Hauwa’s mum is seeing us off’.

Hauwa and Bisi exchange glances and burst into laughter. Michella, visibly irritated hangs up.

‘They are so clingy’, she grumbles.

‘You know you enjoy it’, Bisi tells her. She shrugs. Hauwa gets a notification that the cab’s arrived.

‘Time to roll, girls’.

————–

In National Health Care Centre, Abuja, the secretary is happy with his new laptop. He bought it as a long due gift to himself. ‘That stupid Irene will be one-upped’, he thought. She just got an iPad the week before and wouldn’t stop showing off. ‘These young girls, so rude! They will just be feeling on top of the world with their gadgets and boyfriends’, he exclaimed. 

‘But that one na her own’.

He turned it on and got to work, typing the brief for that day. His colleague, Adam walks in.

‘Oga Belo, this your new laptop na die’.

He grins, ‘Thank you oh’.

‘Asus abi?’.

‘No, oh, BXM’.

‘Let me see’.

He goes over to his side and peeps into the screen of the laptop. Belo clicks on the Start button and a weird sound emits from the laptop. Suddenly, a loud and large explosion occurs. 

———-

Oba 

Scrolling through my Twitter feeds, I can’t help but notice the latest hashtag. What’s this #BringBackOurGirlsPartTwo about anyway? Nigerians though, we are always trending. It’s not easy. I chuckle. Some of these tweets though.

@tiwarockssssss 

Retweet until they do something about it. #BringBackOurGirlsPartTwo #WhereAreThey 

@infamousnigerian__

It’s crazy that three beautiful girls would just disappear and it’s crazier that no one is doing anything about it. #WhereAreThey 

@red_fishK

Apparently, the new death penalty for kidnappers doesn’t mean shit. Nigerians, stay woke. #WhereAreThey 

Wait, is that a tweet from Zena Black, popular American actress?

@zenablack

#Nigeria needs to wake up! Three beautiful girls have been taken away from their families. What are they doing about it? Stay woke! #WhereAreThey?

@zenablack

The international community needs to speak up. Will this be another #BringBackOurGirls? #Nigeria #StayWokeNoSleep 

Retweeted by @rihanna, @steveharvey, @katyperry, @zendaya and 15, 906 others.

 Nawa oh. What is going on in this country? It seems like something that has really gained ground. I quickly send a text to Fiona about it. I’m sure she would have the accurate or almost accurate 411. Right away, she replies. Fiona, always the current one, I think, laughing. Apparently, the daughters of three prominent business men in Nigeria were kidnapped, together, in the same night, in the same situation, in Ibadan. Ibadan is usually a quiet, gistless city so this is super surprising. It escalated to that extent, as a result of a video released on the Instagram through the account of one of the girls. A video of them begging for help and all. Everyone is so concerned about them. She sends the video. It’s so heart-breaking. It’s obvious that these girls are wealthy, high class kids. I can’t imagine how their parents must be feeling. They look terrible, I hope they haven’t been raped.

I tweet, ‘What’s going on in this society? Isn’t this a replay of 2013? Will we watch them never return home? #WhereAreThey?’

———– 

‘Welcome home, dear’, Fatima hugs her husband and takes his bag. He hugs her back. 

‘I have made your favourite soup and Eba. Should I serve you?’.

‘Not yet’, he replies, ‘I have a surprise for you’. 

He brings out a parcel, wrapped in red paper. ‘You know how you always complained of how outdated your laptop is, so I decided to get you a new one’. 

Fatima takes the parcel and hugs him. ‘My husband, thank you. The one and only love of my life. May God continue to provide for you. Amin’.

She opens it up in excitement. The last thing she heard before it went off was, ‘It’s even your favourite colour, rose gold’.

———-

‘There have been several reports of bombing in this past week, about seven or so incidents. It’s alarming’, Gregory states.

‘I know right, I was wondering if it was of our concern though’, Fiona says.

‘Of course, it is, smallie. Why else are we here?’, sarcastically, Remi asks.

Fiona groans, irritated.

‘You four, have been placed on this case, on instruction from very high quarters. Do not fail me, verbatim from JK’, Gregory continues.

‘Yes,boss’, Remi mock-salutes.

Oba speaks, ‘Myself and Fiona were discussing the recent kidnap the other day. It’s been literally a revolution. I think you would know something, Greg. Why isn’t anyone up talking about this? And why aren’t doing something’.

‘I know right’.

Gregory sighs. ‘Well, it’s not really ours to handle. Besides, the parents brought in experts from America and Saudi Arabia to deal with it. Plus, we can’t even interfere. One of them, the non-nigerian has the Spanish embassy running around on its behalf. They really don’t want our help. Let’s concern ourselves with the case at hand, please’.

———- 

You 

‘Wait, oh’, I cut in as Fiona explains. ‘The long and short of all the story is that, all the laptops exploding have the same source’. 

‘Yes, genius’, she replies. 

‘Rookie, you never learn, listen to the whole thing before you interrupt’, interrupts Remi. I roll my eyes. Pot calling kettle black. 

Remi is a pig, honestly. The hazing has stopped, thank God but he is still a huge asshole. 

‘So, I hope you’re ready, boys. Time for some major interrogation’,she says.

I don’t mean to deviate from the matter at hand but you need to see the way Oba is staring at Fiona like she’s gold. I think he really likes her. She doesn’t read him or Remi so I doubt she knows. I know right, yet she reads me, a lot. I asked Oba about it and he said she will stop reading me when she can, it’s a will power thing. Trust and a lot of work, self control has to go into it. It might sound easy but it’s not. I guess she hasn’t reached that point yet.

Fiona 

Haha. You are so cute. Of course, I know, Oba has a crush on me. It’s cute but firstly, in the agency, inter-work relationships are not encouraged. Secondly, Oba is like my brother, you know. They both are but while Remi is the bully, Oba is the one that pampers you and stands up for you. 

We walk into the store, Eze Technologies and Co. , Alaba written boldly on the giant billboard at it’s entrance. We meet the receptionist and ask to see the manager. 

———–

Twitter Nigeria is still bustling and bubbling with the news and development of the kidnapped girls. More and more people are tweeting every hour with the release of two new ransom and plea videos, notably excluding one of the girls named Michella Xavier-Muelino. It is feared that she may be harmed or even worse. Many Nigerian celebrities, international organisations and public figures have released statements or dropped thoughts concerning the kidnapping. Award winning singer, Madonna, 70 expressed her concern and anxiety in a post on Instagram yesterday which she captioned, Bring Back Our Girls Part Two? Amnesty International has urged the federal government to ‘take action or watch Nigeria become a safeless place all over again’. 

Reporting Kayode Adeyemi, Ocean Tv, Ibadan