Naija Detectives

NAIJA DETECTIVES – Episode Four, Part B

The chief stands up in protest.

‘You can not just come and search my shop like that! Biko, this is violation. Laptop, kwa? You want to spoil business for me! What is this nonsense?’

‘We just want to have a little look around and we would be out of your hair in no time’, Fiona explains gently.

I mentally roll my eyes. Fiona is being too nice, legit. We have a warrant, I don’t think we need his permission, honestly. But I’m just the rookie so I take the back seat here and watch it all unfold.

‘Oya, take phone!’, the man gives his phone to Fiona to speak to someone at the other end of the line. 

Fiona sighs but takes it anyway.

‘We have a warrant. With all due respect, it is within our power and in fact duty to do so…. What do you mean?’.

—————–

Fiona

It’s so absolutely annoying! I don’t understand these people or this country. So bloody confusing, to be honest. I’m weak. Before we were able to search the store, bloody problem. After searching, no relevant information or leads! 

And the man had the damn audacity to actually report us, especially ‘the girl with the dada hair’ being me, for our brash conduct. What the hell! I was so nice and super agreeable.

JK literally bashed me. The irony. I want him to hold me in his arms, not scold me like a baby. 

I chuckle.

Talking about arms, he certainly looked as fine as hell today. And his toned arms, in that sleeveless jumper made my day!

Fiona, stop acting like a school girl with a crush!

Hold that thought. 

But damn crushes.

Someone clears their throat behind me.

It’s Remi. Uggh. 

‘Mama Fiona, who is the unfortunate person you are crushing on o? Let me tell them sorry’, he bursts into laughter.

I mentally face-palm, I had no idea I was thinking aloud.

‘Remi, are you really messing with innocent, seer me this sweet afternoon?’, I smile sweetly, subtly threatening.

‘Don’t do what you’re thinking. Don’t even try it!’. 

‘Good boy, now bye!’, I blow him a kiss. 

You, watching it all unfold burst into laughter, much to Remi’s chagrin.

Rookie, he barked.

————-
The internet is still bustling with tweets, posts and more, #BringBackOurGirlsPartTwo’s campaign is never ending, at more than two thousand tweets per minute. Many organisations have pledged support for Nigeria in cracking this, also the international community continues to support the cause as more and more influencers show their support. 
—————
Oba
I’m so uncomfortable with this #BringBackOurGirlsPartTwo saga and us, not being on this case. It has become such a national issue, I would rather be doing that than Laptop gate. 

I type the hashtag into my search engine. Oh wow! This is officially an international crisis, I mutter. 

—————
 You

Fiona stops me as I walk into the office. ‘So how did you do?’, she asks. ‘How did I do what?’, I ask her in turn. ‘ Don’t play stupid, silly. You know what I mean, your progress assessment’. 

‘Oh that’, I scratch my head, finally understanding. Lord knows how she knows these things.

‘I got my e-mail this morning and I actually have been doing not bad. I’ve made really good progress on most of my categories except self defence’. ‘Martial arts?’, she asks. ‘Martial arts, to be exact. You guessed right’.

And my first sole assignment is coming up. I explain all this to Fiona. She is definitely much more excited about it than I am. Typical Fiona! 

‘About martial arts, the instructors are pigs so its always hard at first. Don’t beat yourself up. My first sole assignment was a bomb though. It was so awesome. I got to go undercover in a drugs mission, find out where the drugs were coming from and going to. Basically an information mole for them to bust the whole operation. Do you want me to read JK or Gregory to find out your sole assignment?’

‘Yes, yes, please’, I plead.

‘Dreams haha’.

—————–
Oba

So they are protesting about this in the capital already. I scroll down my Twitter feeds. But no, Laptop flipping gate is our problem. And we wonder how Trump became president? I tried to talk to Gregory to at least give us, me an angle to this. He didn’t listen. Told me we weren’t done fixing Laptop gate so I should ‘deal with that’. 

Fiona knocks.

‘Check Channel 55, I think we may have a lead on Laptop Gate’. 

————–

Fiona

And I knocked the smug face off his stupid face. It’s funny how the last time we were here, he didn’t want to shut up but now, he’s as meek as a mouse. Ha ha. Telling me how sorry he was and uncooperative, because he knows very well that an action would be brought and he could be an added party. I’m sure you’re wondering how we got here. A certain part of the country has been trying to secede for a while and has been causing trouble. Apparently, one thing led to another and led to Laptop Gate because a ‘fighter’ decided to take it upon himself to our explosive devices in the laptops to show them ‘how serious we are’. I would say the heart of man is desperately wicked but that should be Rookie’s choice of words because I’ve seen worse. Way worse.

‘See you in court, Chief’.

————

The whole nation is still shocked from the recent kidnapping scandal of three daughters of prominent business men in the country. Aimed to become another Bring Back Our Girls Saga, everyone flew into action, with the international community tailing behind. However, more scandalous was the news that it was all a joke. Apparently, the three daughters of the leading business men were just joking and didn’t think it would escalate quickly. In an apology letter issued openly to the whole nation. They admitted being ‘careless, callous, irresponsible, childish and didn’t stop to think once of what outcome their actions might bring’. There have been no further comments.

My name is Kolade Johnson. Reporting, Ocean Tv.

(Lol. I was in a super hurry to be done with this episode so its not the best. It was dragging on for so long and I just had to just deal with it! We are officially two episodes away from the end of Naija Detectives Season One. It’s a bitter-sweet thing for me tbh. I can’t wait to start Season Two and bring new characters, more crime and more and more action)

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The Stories I Wrote

Arrangements 

​Can you imagine that, Victor! I’ll actually get dressed over some stupid boy and his family coming to my own home, playing the darn hostess. 

She texted angrily, then threw her phone on her bed.

Seconds later, it buzzed.

Calm down, babe. I’m sure it’s not that bad, it’s the 21st Century, who really match makes?

She could imagine him, carefree with his shaggy brown hair and no shirt, eyes twinkling with laughter as he typed that. Victor! He never took life seriously, yet she loved him so much. Did he take her seriously? Or it was just some basic life passing ritual?

She cussed. Now she was over thinking things. Victor was perfect, she told herself.

She heard from downstairs.

‘Bola!’

She waited till she called again.

‘Bola!’

No, she wouldn’t answer. She was beyond irritated and she wouldn’t let it go!

‘Bola, are you deaf?’, her mother called once more.

This time she answered.

‘Don’t let me come and fetch you myself, they will be here any minute’.

She scoffed. Who were they anyway, that mother had to cook a feast and the house was sparkling white. It irritated her. She had a clue, though but her sister was a pointless gossip so she couldn’t be too sure.

‘They said he wants to marry you’, she recalled Ikepo, her sister saying.

‘That’s bonkers. In the 21st Century, abegg’.

She had shook her head in disbelief.

‘They were saying something like father’s friend’s son sha and you’re getting old, mum is scared that you’re not normal’.

She laughed out as her little sister spoke.

Fair enough, She had never brought Victor home but she was scared, would they like Victor? Victor, with his twinkling eyes and shaggy brown hair, not so serious Victor. He wasn’t your regular man, the things he did wouldn’t interest them. Surely, Her dad would be against a non-Nigerian and my mum would just dislike him, She knew it. She couldn’t deal with that kind of rejection.

‘But trying to fix me up, that’s just crazy on another level’, she thought aloud.

‘Now, Bola, for the last time. *Bo si sale, won to de sin in’

She sighed and took one last look at the mirror.

She heard the doorbell ring and someone get it.

———-
‘Bola, meet Mr and Mrs Earl. We met at the golf club. Their son, Victor has been helping out at your mother’s charity for a few weeks. He’s such a fine young man’.

Victor, with the shaggy brown hair and twinkling eyes winked at her.

Translations
*Come downstairs, they will soon be here’.